2023: PLAY (FASTER) BALL!

Baseball is back! But with pitch clocks and other assorted limits, you better not be late. So far, games are a whopping 31 minutes shorter than in 2022. That's equal to two beers, by my count. On the bright side, this sped-up version of our beloved game should save fans hundreds of dollars – there's just not enough time for another hot dog!

BUT (and there's always a "BUT"), that's because suckers – I mean fans – will now be forking over their hard-earned cash at the utterly horrific stadium addition known as Draft Kings. Remember when betting on sports was illegal? It's now available in thirty of our nation's 50 states. And Pete Rose is STILL not in Cooperstown. Now THAT'S hypocrisy. And, excuse me for asking, but who approved this monstrosity? Doesn't Wrigley Field have historic landmark status? Or does the fine print say, "Marquee only"? You can barely see the stadium as you walk down Addison. Now that truly is an abomination.

Now that I've vented, let's list a few things that went right on Opening Day 2023. There was a Ronnie "Woo Woo" Wickers sighting. Ronnie is moving slower these days, but he is still as upbeat about the North Side team as ever and always ready to stop for a photo with fans. At 86-years-old, the Bleacher Preacher also was on hand. Mayoral Candidate Paul Vallas was there too, but that smile did not last long. He won the 44th Ward (barely), but not much else. Some things never change. But baseball is trying. Play ball indeed.

2023 REMEMBER WRIGLEY FIELD EVENTS

AUGUST
5-6 August DubuqueFest, from 10 am to 5 pm Saturday and Sunday in historic Washington Park, along the Mississippi River in downtown Dubuque, Iowa

SEPTEMBER
2-4 September Frankfort Fall Festival, from 10 am to 6 pm Saturday and Sunday and 10 am to 4 pm Monday in Frankfort, Illinois

9-10 September Lakeview East Festival of the Arts, from 11 am to 7 pm on Broadway in the Lakeview neighborhood, Chicago

12 September Low-Line Market, from 3 to 7 pm Tuesday under the Brown Line at the Southport stop in the Lakeview neighborhood on the north side of Chicago

19 September Low-Line Market, from 3 to 7 pm Tuesday under the Brown Line at the Southport stop in the Lakeview neighborhood on the north side of Chicago

OCTOBER
3 October Low-Line Market, from 3 to 7 pm Tuesday under the Brown Line at the Southport stop in the Lakeview neighborhood on the north side of Chicago

6-8 October Autumn on the Fox, from 10 am to 5 pm Friday and Saturday and 10 am to 4 pm Sunday in Pottawatomie Park, St. Charles, Illinois

10 October Low-Line Market, from 3 to 7 pm Tuesday under the Brown Line at the Southport stop in the Lakeview neighborhood on the north side of Chicago

NOVEMBER
10-12 November Fall Fountain Festival of Arts & Crafts, from 10-5 pm Friday, Saturday and Sunday at Fountain Hills, just northwest of Phoenix, Arizona

24-26 November Festival of Arts & Crafts, from 2 to 7 pm Friday, 9 am to 4 pm Saturday and 10 am to 4 pm Sunday at the Lake County Fairgrounds in Greyslake, Illinois